Mothers Of Lost Children – Indiana

Support for Noncustodial Indiana Moms

What Issues Arise for Woman Abuse Survivors and Their Children during the Family Court Process

with 2 comments

A great research paper by Rita Benson…here is an excerpt:

It is not uncommon for an abusive man to continue or escalate abuse upon separation, including using the family court process and access visits as vehicles to control and harass his partner. Not only do abused women face an increased threat of physical abuse as they defy the control of the abuser and leave him, but they also often face enormously stressful demands such as attempting to negotiate safe and manageable custody arrangements, attempting to live on less money, dealing with the refusal of an abusive partner to leave the matrimonial home, and facing threats from the abuser that he will ensure she never obtains custody of the children. Children who have already been traumatized may be used in attempts to control the abused woman or as an excuse to have increased contact with her when she is attempting to create separation from the abuse.

Unfortunately many survivors speak of their revictimzation by the very service systems designed to protect them. “Rather than safety and healing from traumatic events, these survivors report ongoing dangers in their lives from ex-partners, and never-ending litigation that drains their financial and emotional resources.” It is our challenge to become services that are knowledgeable about the issues and responsive to the needs of those already victimized. This is not to imply that solutions are simple or that there are unilateral responses to all cases involving domestic violence. There is a need to develop careful screening and to “differentiate the range of domestic violence to provide measured responses and utilize appropriate resources.”

To download the paper, please click here.

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Written by mothersoflostchildren

February 6, 2009 at 3:19 am

2 Responses

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  1. Hello. My mom and I share the same email address. I have been a victim of an abusive man. We have 2 kids together. When I was pregnant he would beat me leaving me with black eyes. He’s very manipulative. I am in a custody battle and so scared. I have a background of medical records that are from mental hospitals. I went twice for depression. I was depressed because of my abusive partner. Right now my kids are with him in colorado. What happened was I got “improperly served” with paper work. Meaning he filed for the motion for parternity and there was a court date and His lawyer serverd me with all the papers except the court date one. Upon the advise of my lawyer he said that it meant nothing because there was no court dade. I had asked him if I could leave the state to start a new life and get away from my baby’s dad. He said that I should leave asap. At the time my son was staying at my dad’s house and not with me. Right after he was born (which was in texas while I was visiting at my dads) I left him to keep him away from my babys dad. I didn’t want violence around my infant. I flew to colorado with my oldest, my daughter, to break my lease and pack my things and thats when I got improperly served. So I get to texas and I’m happy working a good job being with my children. Court comes up and at this point we were fighting for jursidiction in texas. Because I left the state of colorado after I had been served in colorado we lost having the court in texas. Then because I didn’t show to the court date I had no clue about they assumed he is the father. I think thats why I don’t know exactly yet. So there was this temporary order to return the children to him back in colorado. Then the other court date came 3 weeks later in colorado. He made me look like a crazy person. The judge ordered me to pay child support and for him to have the kids intill the next hearing comming up may 1st. I’m, really upset. What can I do. I have run out of ideas and im afraid he will eventually abuse my children. How can I win? I’m doing everything the court has asked of me. He doesn’t care about my children like I do. He just wants to hurt me because I left. He was the one to always leave me behind. When I was 7 months pregnant with my daughter I was poor and in school full time and he put me on the street. I had 2 black eyes. When I was pregnant with my son he left me for another woman when I was 7 months pregnant. Then after that girl left him I caught him with my best friend. So I decided to move to texas and start things over and move on. But now he’s taking everything from me because of it. My money, my children, my hopes, my future. Please help. Things arent final yet. The big hearing is still yet to come. Thank you so much.

    With love, Ash

    Amber McCutchan

    February 7, 2009 at 5:02 am

  2. I will contact you off this group Ashly…

    mothersoflostchildren

    February 7, 2009 at 9:28 pm


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