Mothers Of Lost Children – Indiana

Support for Noncustodial Indiana Moms

Archive for July 2009

Local “Stepfamily” Counselor Celebrates Baby’s Death

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Wow, I couldn’t believe this until I saw it myself.  Indianapolis “stepfamily counselor” Kela Price published something I find quite astonishing for someone who claims she is for children.  Here is her bio from the Examiner, where she recently posted an article titled “Children speak up about relationships with their fathers post divorce“:

 

Kela Price has been an ex/second wife, mom/stepmom for over 8 yrs. As Founder of http://www.blendedfamilysoapopera.com and a Certified Stepfamily Counselor, she is well-versed when it comes to divorce and remarriage issues. Kela can be reached at kela@blendedfamilysoapopera.com.

 

Second wives are often recruited to the Father’s Rights movement, to show they have women on board with them and give them more credibility.  Often though, after several years, the FR groups will throw them away when they have lost their usefulness.  They are easy recruits…they see what their current husbands deal with their exwives and the children.

Kela recently published an article on her local blog called “Blended family karma – what goes around always comes back around.”

Read what Kela gets miffed over:

Two weeks ago my husband went to visit his son (he lives 3 hours way). Two weeks prior to that, he informed his ex-wife that he was coming to see him play in his baseball game. She responded by giving him directions and the phone number to the facility just in case he got lost.

Gee, sounds pretty nice of her to do that, I know a lot of custodial fathers who would not do that, much less even let the moms see their own kids.

When he got there the game was being cancelled due to rain, so he told his son (K) that he’d take him out to dinner instead.  K was excited and ran to tell his mom that he was going out to dinner with my husband and she said no because they had plans. My husband told her that they couldn’t have plans because they had planned to be at the baseball game but it was cancelled. He took him to dinner anyway and returned him to her home 2 hours later.

That is pretty crappy, they had plans and her husband took him anyway….oh well.  Life goes on, dad had dinner with son.  This is where it gets nasty…the very next paragraph, still carrying on about the same event:

At nine months pregnant she was still up to her old game of “keep away.” I couldn’t believe that she had the energy or even the desire to do so. There was absolutely no reason why she shouldn’t have agreed to let him go. Did she really expect my husband to drive 3 hours to see his son for 5 minutes and then leave? Surely not.  My husband came home really upset; mainly because of the position that she put K in. He didn’t want to argue with her in front of K, but he also didn’t want to turn around after driving 3 hours and not spend any time with his son. It was a tough decision and he didn’t understand why he had to be in that position in the first place.  He was tired and completely frustrated with the situation and we all have been for quite some time now. Two days later, while walking our dog, my husband received a phone call from a very emotional K saying that his mother LOST THE BABY! She was 36 weeks pregnant, went into the hospital for spotting and the doctors told her that the baby had no heartbeat. The universe is shifting!

It is no coincidence that the same woman who snatched my husband’s son away from him after years of developing a close bond and wonderful relationship with him and for no reason at all, had her baby snatched away as well. Hopefully now she and her husband truly understand what it feels like to love, prepare for, bond with and sacrifice so much for a child, only to have him snatched away for reasons that can’t be explained…

Well, I don’t have the words now for this “certified” counselor.  Telling a mom she deserves to have her baby die is very wicked.  I hope that Indianapolis people become aware of this so-called “counselor” and how she really feels about children.  Who in the hell certified her?  They need to know about this!  I believe she may need some heavy-duty counseling for herself and her own twisted issues.  Kela Price puts the monster into Stepmonster…

 

blended

 

To the mom who lost her baby, my condolences to you dear.

Also see: Leading Lambs to the Slaughter…

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One Mother’s Voice

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My name is Shirley Riggs, I’m 39 years old and the mother of 4 beautiful children. I’m writing this inside the Thurston County jail, Olympia, WA, waiting for extradition to Kansas City, Missouri to face charges of custodial interference. My bond stands at $500,000 cash only. This secures that I as a mother will sit in jail because I chose to protect my children from further sexual abuse and because of a broken system. My heart aches for my children in a way few will ever realize….

 
…. My children and I have suffered great injustices in our lives in the past 4 years. We have been denied our right to due process and protection. Laws have been swept under the rug, resulting in my children being placed with their father and grandfather, who both have substantiated sexual abuse findings involving my oldest daughter. My children have been illegally ripped from the home, family, society, and way of life they love, the place they felt safest and the community they held so dear.

 

Shirley has lost all her parental rights now (thank you family court) and no longer has any access to them.  My thoughts are with her…

Written by mothersoflostchildren

July 25, 2009 at 7:26 pm

Protect Yourself From Cyberstalking

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An excellent list from Alexis A. Moore: 

This is ninth in a series of articles on women and cyberstalking written for About.com by cyberstalking expert Alexis A. Moore, founder of the national advocacy group Survivors in Action.

If the idea of cyberstalking scares you, that’s good. That discomfort is a reminder that you need to be alert and aware on the internet. Staying vigilant offline is important too. Your cell phone, Blackberry, your home call display — all of these things can be manipulated by technology.

Awareness is one step; action is another.

Here are 12 tips that can prevent you from becoming a victim of cyberstalking. They may take a few hours to implement, but the payoff is protection from the hundreds of hours it takes to undo the damage of a cyberstalker.

  1. Never reveal your home address. This rule is especially important for women who are business professionals and very visible. You can use your work address or a rent a private mailbox. Just don’t have your home address readily available. 
  2. Password protect all accounts including cell phones, land lines, e-mails, banking and credit cards with a secure password that would be difficult for anyone to guess. Change it every year. Your secret questions should not be easily answered either. Former VP candidate Sarah Palin’s secret “reminder” questions were so easy to answer that a cyberstalker was easily able to gain access to her email accounts. 
  3. Conduct an internet search using your name and phone number – be sure that there is nothing out there that you are not aware of. A cyberstalker may have created a craigslist account, web page or blog about you. Only you can stay on top of how your name is being used online. 
  4. Be suspicious of any incoming emails, telephone calls or texts that ask you for your identifying information. The “Caller ID Spoof” can mimic your bank’s caller ID. It is very easy for a cyberstalker posing as a banking representative, utility, credit card representative or your cell phone provider to obtain your personal private information. If you are suspicious hang up and call the institution directly to be sure that you were not a target of a cyberstalker.
  5. Never give out your Social Security Number unless you are absolutely sure of who is asking for it and why. With your “social” as they call it in the business, a cyberstalker now has access to every part of your life. 
  6. Utilize stat counters or other free registry counters that will record all incoming traffic to your blogs and web sites. With a stat counter you can identify who is viewing your site or blog easily because the registry records the IP address, date, time, city, state and internet service provider. It is useful for marketing and it also provides a very valuable safeguard in the event that your web site or blog is targeted. 
  7. Check your credit report status regularly, especially if you’re a business professional or individual who is in the public eye. Do this at least two times per year, especially if you feel that you may have a reason to be concerned. You can request a free copy of your credit once a year directly from the credit bureaus. It is worth the additional cost to pay for it the second time. Go directly to each bureau; you will not damage your credit rating if you obtain a copy directly from the bureaus. Avoid paying third parties to obtain copies of the report because often the third parties charge more than what the credit bureaus charge and you’ll end up on another mailing list. 
  8. If you are leaving a partner, spouse or boyfriend or girlfriend – especially if they are abusive, troubled, angry or difficult – reset every single password on all of your accounts to something they cannot guess. Inform your bank and credit companies that this person is not allowed to make any changes to your accounts no matter what the reason. Even if you are reasonably certain that your former partner is “okay,” this is a good practice for moving forward on your own. It is also a good idea to get a new cell phone and credit card that the ex doesn’t know about. Make these changes before you leave if you can. 
  9. If you encounter something suspicious – a weird phone call or an emptied account that can’t be explained by your bank – it could be a cyberstalker so act accordingly. Change all your accounts, and ideally change banks. Check your credit report. Note anything else that appears strange. If you have more than one or two “strange” incidents per month, it’s possible you are a target. 
  10. If you think you’re a target, have your PC checked by a professional. If you are already experiencing cyberstalking incidents, your computer may already be compromised. Have someone in the know check it for spyware and other viruses. 
  11. If you think you have a cyberstalker, move fast. Lots of people don’t take action because they think they’re “crazy” or imagining things. Record incidents – time, place, event. Victims of repeated attacks tend to become paralyzed with fear. Meanwhile, cyberstalkers often get such a rush off the first “attack” that it encourages them to keep going. The faster you take action and block their ability to hurt or harass you, the sooner they lose interest in their project. 
  12. Get lots of emotional support to handle the cyberstalking period and to deal with the aftermath. It is normal to feel high levels of distrust and paranoia after a cyberstalking encounter. A lot of people will not want to deal with someone with a cyberstalker; it puts them at risk. You may feel isolated and alone. The best thing I did was learn to keep reaching out until I found the brave people who helped me put my life back together. Having support was what got me through but I had to fight for every bit of it.

It may seem backwards that we can’t do more to protect ourselves from cyberstalkers. Lawmakers in the US need to grasp the urgency of the situation and pick up the pace if we’re ever going fight cybercrime with real legislative tools. While we work toward getting laws caught up with the speed of technology, for now, you are a pioneer. Like the Wild West, it’s every man, woman and child for themselves when it comes to cyberstalking.

So take care of yourselves out there.

Indiana Lawmaker Critical of Court Network’s Progress

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From The Chicago Tribune:

Associated Press  2:30 PM CDT, July 18, 2009  

INDIANAPOLIS – An effort to put all the state’s courts on the same computerized case management system and make court records available free online has reached only nine counties after seven years.

Supporters say the task is overwhelming and progress has been made despite a five-year false start. But at least one key lawmaker believes it’s time to re-evaluate the project, which has cost the state about $20 million so far.

“That’s not a very high performance level,” Sen. Luke Kenley, R-Noblesville, chairman of the Senate Appropriations Committee, told The Journal Gazette of Fort Wayne. “I think we need to re-evaluate the project as far as where we are going and what we are going to do.”

The project’s goal is to equip all the state’s courts and clerks with a computer system to manage cases, connect court systems with each other, police and state agencies and make records available on the Internet.

The project was initially introduced in 2002, but court staffers across the state found the software being used was unable to track the status and outcome of criminal and civil cases. The state canceled that deal in 2005.

It hired a new vendor, Tyler Technologies Inc., and in December 2007 rolled out the Odyssey system, which now serves 25 courts in nine counties, including Marion County‘s traffic court, the state’s busiest court. Those courts comprise approximately 16 percent of all the cases filed in Indiana, according to the state Supreme Court.

The project is handled by the Indiana Supreme Court’s Judicial Technology and Automation Committee, but Kenley would like to see that change. During the regular legislative session, he wrote a provision into a failed version of the state budget that would have moved the project to the State Budget Agency.

State. Rep. Win Moses, D-Fort Wayne, doesn’t think that’s necessary.

“I think we’re doing a good job given the vast extent of it and the complexity of it,” he said. “We should not slow down.”

Mary DePrez, director of the Supreme Court technology committee, said that in 2002 the committee projected that implementing a statewide case management system could cost between $73 million and $113 million. She estimated the statewide rollout of the Odyssey system that debuted in 2007 could take five or six years.

Some counties have resisted the switch, which is not mandatory.

LaGrange County Clerk Beverly Elliott said the county installed its own case management system in 2005 when the state project stalled, and she doesn’t plan to use Odyssey.

“I’m sure Odyssey will work fine for some counties, but we don’t have the money to sink into a new system when ours is working fine,” she said.

The cost of Odyssey is shared between the state, which pays for installation, training, annual maintenance and license fees, and local courts, which are responsible for hardware.

Supreme Court spokeswoman Kathryn Dolan said the project is complex, in part because the vendors must ensure that the statewide system and the local systems can communicate.

“These are smart people who are figuring it out, but it takes a little bit of time,” she said.

Kenley was critical of the piecemeal approach to the rollout.

“We are making decisions one piece at a time instead of an overall look at the cost,” Kenley said. “Let’s institutionalize it so it’s a performing asset.”

Though only a handful of counties so far are on Odyssey, Dolan and Moses pointed to progress made on related computerization projects. Those include an electronic ticketing system used by most Indiana police, court access to Bureau of Motor Vehicle traffic infraction records and police access to domestic violence protection orders statewide.

“They’re big projects that fit into a bigger part of the puzzle,” Dolan said.

 

Former NeoNazi/Skinhead Fights for Boone County Fathers While Blasting Mothers

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Well, it seems Stuart Showalter, from Boone County Fathers, has a radical background.  He has the nerve to blame Angie Warnock for her own death because she sought and received Protective Orders to protect herself from her violent husband.  It is common for violent, abusive leaders that populate these father’s groups to yell the loudest.  (Unfortunately good fathers get recruited into these groups too).  And when they yell, they throw in the “parental alienation” claim with it.  Stuart claims to have the ear of Governor Mitch Daniels, and legislators on both sides of the isle…I would think with his continued rhetoric to protect violent men and blame the moms would be a red flag for who ever is talking to him.  See appellate decision below:

933 F.2d 573

UNITED STATES of America, Plaintiff-Appellee,
v.
Stuart W. SHOWALTER, Defendant-Appellant.

No. 90-1361.

United States Court of Appeals,
Seventh Circuit.

Argued Oct. 29, 1990.
Decided May 30, 1991.

Robert M. Barnes, Susan E. Heckard, Asst. U.S. Attys., Indianapolis, Ind., for plaintiff-appellee.

Daniel J. Coffey, Indianapolis, Ind., for defendant-appellant.

Before CUDAHY, RIPPLE, and MANION, Circuit Judges.

MANION, Circuit Judge.

1Stuart Showalter pleaded guilty to possession of an unregistered firearm in violation of 26 U.S.C. Sec. 5861(d). He appeals the length and conditions of his supervised release. We remand for resentencing because the length of supervised release exceeds the amount authorized by statute, but affirm the conditions of Showalter’s supervised release imposed by the district court.I.

2Showalter headed an Indianapolis organization called the “Pure American Freedom Party,” which was loosely associated with other white supremacist “skinhead” and “neo-Nazi” groups in Indiana and around the United States. Showalter, then 20 years old, was prominently featured in a July 1989 article in the Indianapolis Monthly magazine called “Skinhead Society: Should a Local Group of Neo-Nazis be Feared, Tolerated or Ignored?” The article described the weaponry in Showalter’s apartment, and discussed the group’s potential for committing acts of violence. This publicity apparently brought him to the attention of his landlords, who sought to evict him from his apartment (in a predominantly black neighborhood) for late payment of rent and violation of the lease by having too many occupants. Showalter failed to leave on time, and was seen outside the apartment brandishing a weapon, so the police were called in to assist in his departure. When he failed to respond to their request to drop his gun and come out, the police broke in and arrested him and another occupant.

To read the rest of this decision, please click here.

Also see:  Angie Warnock is Blamed for Her Own Death and He Swore He’d Never Hurt Her

Mothers For Justice on So-called “Parental Alienation Syndrome”

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Enough is Enough!

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From WTHR:

Rally calls for end to domestic violence

Posted: July 2, 2009 05:22 AM EDT

Updated: July 2, 2009 05:29 PM EDT

 
Amanda Yang
Amanda Yang
Beth Stayer
Beth Stayer
Angela Warnock
Angela Warnock

 
 
Lynsay Clutter/Eyewitness News

Indianapolis – Advocates against domestic abuse say “enough is enough!” after a recent spike in deaths. A rally held Thursday aims to raise awareness and reach out to victims.

“Stop Domestic Abuse!” “Enough is Enough!” Those sentiments were chanted at the rally in Indianapolis at the North United Methodist Church.

Already this year in Marion County, 15 people are dead from domestic abuse. That’s compared to 13 in all of 2008. When the economy goes down, attacks often go up.

“There was already abuse in the home, and then when he loses his job, then all of a sudden, the violence just escalates,” said Loretta Moore, Prevail. “By independence, and by financial independence, women don’t have to go back. So what we’ve done at Prevail is we now have an employment program.”

Resource agencies are trying to get the word out before another person is hurt. In just the last two months alone, three women were killed, allegedly by their husbands or ex-husband.

Amanda Yang, 43, was beaten in her Lawrence home in May. In mid-June, 32-year-old Beth Stayer was beaten outside her condo in Whitestown with a hammer. Almost two weeks ago, 38-year-old Angela Warnock was stabbed to death in her Brownsburg home in front of her children.

All three women had protective orders and were going through divorces. Protective orders are critical for legal recourse, but they are not bullet-proof. Domestic violence advocates say the women did the right thing by trying to get away, but since the separation period is the most dangerous, it’s crucial to have a safety plan.

“I would always recommend that when you get a protective order, you also get counseling. It’s important to know what kind of safety plan to put into effect because often when people get a protective order, the next thing you can expect is an escalation of violence,” said Linda Major, Marion County prosecutor’s office.

The safest action is to go to a shelter or place the abuser would never find the victim. Different agencies can help implement various plans, but the message is the same:

“Saving lives, period.”

A domestic abuse training event for the public will be held at the Brownsburg Police Department July 13th.

For the seventh year, WTHR has been “Shattering the Silence.” For more information on domestic violence , click here.