Mothers Of Lost Children – Indiana

Support for Noncustodial Indiana Moms

Crisis in Family Courts: Abusers Getting Custody

with 3 comments

I had several dear friends on this recent show on Dr. Phil. Both mothers I know had their children killed by their fathers in horrible murder-suicides when the court ORDERED them to give the children to the father (even after death threats).

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  1. I lost custody of my daughter in a Seneca County Ohio court 7 years ago and I still have supervised visitation. I currently live in OKlahoma and have asked him to allow her to visit us her with my partner supervising the visit. He refuses so my only chioce is to go to Indiana , where my partners family is from, and visit with her there. Dont get me wrong I am very Happy to have any opportunity to see my daughter, but am very bitter at the level of control this batterer has over us. He is still abusing me. My case is not unique and I am astounded by the numbers of women losing their children to abusive men. I fled withmy daughter after 2 stays in a domestic violence shelter. I left Tiffin Ohio and went to my fathers home in OKlahoma. He was on the birth certificate but had refused to go through with court ordered request to establish paternity. I did not care, my children and I were safe and that is all that mattered to me. However after 6 months Seneca County said I had to bring our daughter there and go to court. They took her away after a year of very little involvment on his part to parent her. I filed a request to lift supervise visitation but the court refused and I am poor and cannot afford council. How can we change the system when these misconceptions are so deeply embedded in the elected and appointed leaders. Especially when everyone in the town is well aquainted with one another. I even helped take care of his lawyers childern at his mothers in home daycare. Clearly I was not a threat or “unsafe”. I guess the court felt I was “flight risk” but isnt that what we are supposed to do when a man is hurting us? Are we not allowed to go home to family instead of a shelter to feel safe. I am baffeled and wondered does anyone have any advice as to what I should do now?
    Thank you,
    Ginger Walls

    Ginger Walls

    October 27, 2010 at 8:01 pm

  2. I don’t know Ginger. We are all struggling with this issue. In Indiana, it is particularly bad. The federal government is starting to take notice though, and I think they are in Indiana, with the Indiana Judicial Qualifications Committee and the Indiana Supreme Court coming out with a joint statement last year warning family court judges and lawyers they were tired of the corruption, this after a Miami County Judge (Banina) gave custody of the children to a father, without even letting the mother know they were going to have a hearing. The key I think is to not keep quite, and to never shut up. The more that the public knows about it, the more outrage there will be. Every time I tell people what is going on in family courts, first they can’t believe it, then they are outraged. We have to keep speaking out about this.

    mothersoflostchildren

    October 31, 2010 at 7:39 pm

  3. I lost my 2 year old son to an abuser. The child was born out of wedlock and he has never had substantial child care duties other than every other weekend. My ex missed a couple of visitations due to illness and midunderstanding of the guidelines, therefore this gave him grounds for sole custody according to the judge. Has anyone ever heard of changing custody over first time violations with no prior warnings, oh and alienation because he missed a couple of visits? The judge immediately dismissed my protective order without hearing any testimony and allows my ex to harass me during the child exchanges and said that it is my fault I feel intimidated by him. These man has abused me physically and emotionally and continues to be allowed by an IN judge to continue on abusing me. He is now abusing my son and me by taking him away. Oh, I do get every other weekend. This man didn’t even pay for my prenatal care nor child support for the first 6 months?? What is wrong Indiana judges. The corruption was so thick that even my son’s therapist could smell it. I am appealling the decision, but I’m so mad that it is going to take at least 6 months to get him back, if I ever do. I’m not even working and I have to pay half of his atty fees and 40 a wk child support. And I’m expect to pay the atty fees in 2 months. Oh and they will send me to jail if there is any parental alienation, which was not even addressed in court, that is the term alienation. What is going on. My child is suffering so much and my ex laughs when my son cries for me. My son is speech delayed and regresses significantly after dads visits. His couselor stated on the stand that he had an adjustment disorder. My son’s therapist stated that there appear to be a problem coming from dads house. Has anyone ever heard of such?

    Lauri

    June 28, 2011 at 5:18 pm


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